Review CXLV - Ghostbusters

Review 145
Ghostbusters (2016)

I debated writing this review for a couple of reasons. Number one, everyone under the sun has reviewed it, so my measly review really doesn't stand by it. Number two, it didn't get a great rating, unlike Zootopia, which needs to burn in hell and know its place. But nonetheless, I read/heard some reviews saying Paul Fieg's Ghostbusters was just okay and not bad, so I figure I might as well put my two cents in.

Now, before I begin, I did review the old Ghostbusters a while back and said it was just okay and I didn't have much to say, but given the wisdom I have accumulated over four years (cough), I can say that I give Ivan Reitman's Ghostbusters a little more credit now than I did originally. So if you're sitting here saying, "Hey, man, you didn't like the original!" that would be an exaggerated claim and my old review was bad (as are all of them, sigh).

To be honest, I didn't even finish the 2016 rendition. It was so painful and ridiculous and lowbrow that I made it about an hour in and, realising I still had about an hour left, I dropped it. But I still think I can say what I need to say. I know the ending is very "anti-man" with its penis attacking or something, but honestly, the film has it from the beginning. So let's start from the beginning, mmkay?

We start off with Erin Gilbert, played by Kristen Wiig, claiming she has found the formula to connect quantum laws and relativity. I'm glad they chose the easiest possible thing for her to display her "smartness". I'm guessing the whole thing is a joke and she was day-dreaming or something, but whatever. We then find out she wrote a book with her friend, Abby Yates, played by Melissa McCarthy, a while back and her friend had re-published it against her will. And we find out that one of the people reviewing her case for tenure is an evil man who doesn't believe she can accomplish anything. He also criticises her wardrobe. Now, I can only talk from my experience in physics, but I'm guessing it's a pretty universal thing in general. Every teacher I have met in my degree so far has been very, very friendly. They are serious about their work, but trust me when I say that I had bigger run-ins with teachers in psychology than I have in physics. And the one teacher who I met who was flimsy was sexist - toward men. That's right. He was a man who was always encouraging his female students and would disagree and disregard his male students. In particular, I recall a male peer of mine commenting that he had difficulty reading the board, and the teacher told him to move closer if he couldn't see. I, who was sitting the same distance away, defended the student saying it was a bit small, and the teacher, with no argument, said he would write bigger. So really, this brings me to a second point - people in academia aren't going to be sexist in general. You might have the one teacher who makes a comment about women, but university students and professors are some of the most liberal people around. Sure, science, mathematics, engineering, economics fields probably have more conservative students than, say, art students, but I have yet to meet a guy tell me he thought I wasn't as smart as a man. And especially in physics, where most of the guys are slightly socially awkward, they would never say this. Even if they aren't, are you going to hate on a student when they show prospect and possibly answers to your questions? I don't care that this teacher was an older man - he wouldn't be a complete dick. And to add one other thing, he criticises her attire, yet in my experience, I have dressed more professionally than my teachers. Granted, this is Columbia University, but nonetheless, this guy was so passive aggressive about the whole thing, it came off as super feminine. Women say, "No, nevermind," when you ask them what. No? Whatever. We'll have more to say on this.

So then Erin goes to confront Abby about the whole ordeal and we meet Jilian Holtzmann (Kate McKinnon), who pissed me off. I know a lot of people were like, "Man, Holtzmann was awesome!" and maybe because all the other characters are so bland, this is why. But she's insane. She's supposed to be an engineer for Christ's sake. If she behaved like that, she would lose her license, point final. It's possible that this is different in the United States, but to me, there is a certain licensing and educational system that goes on to actually be considered an engineer. She has nothing. She's also super catty with Abby about Erin, which made me sit there shaking my head. What are we in, high school? Thanks, movie, for portraying men AND WOMEN in a derogatory way. Honestly, my balls are busted - I've heard everyone talk about the sexism toward men, and it really is disgusting. I hate it. But for the few who say, "These women are empowered and you just hate the film because they're women!" I say, no they are not, and yes, I hate them because they're women. Because they make these women the MOST STEREOTYPICAL SHITS. These are the women I meet on the street and turn away from because they bring my sex down. Honestly, I was going to call Erin the "brainy" woman, but she isn't. She is so emotionally strung and STUPID, I wanted to kill myself. Abby? She and Holtzmann are super catty for no reason. Then when everyone is friends, it's like, "Okay, ghosts are real, we have evidence, so it's okay c:" Why even have that cattiness from the beginning? It was completely useless. Otherwise, really, Abby has nothing going on with her. I really don't get why she is there. Holtzmann is there for laughs, oh whoooa, man, but instead she comes across just as idiotic with setting shit on fire. Jesus H. Christ. So yeah, in the end, they discover ghosts, they STEAL SHIT FROM SOME UNIVERSITY (kleptomaniacs), and they open their "Ghostbusters" centre. They hire some guy, Kevin (Chris Hemsworth) who, while hot, is completely incompetent. I don't get how people said this guy carried some substance because he was not funny. I know the film is trying to be sexist again with men, but it shows just how much of an idiot Erin is. She wants to go with this guy because he is so "dreamy" and it is so awkward to see them together, but maybe they should be showing her actually going for an intelligent man with SUBSTANCE. She is literally behaving like a man going for the sexy bimbo. It's not funny, it's pathetic. Kevin is not hot - he's a you-know-what boy. Women behave on a different scale than men - while having Megan Fox should attract (young) male viewers based on appearance, I don't think women generally go for men just based on looks, especially not a woman who is FREAKIN' APPLYING FOR A TENURE POSITION AT COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY IN PHYSICS. People are stupid, but I would hope this woman has standards of some sort. But given divorce rates and freakin' society, I think I'm wrong.

So what else do I have to say? Oh, right, Leslie Jones as Patty Tolan. People beat on her for being stereotypically black, but honestly, she didn't come across as a complete racist dolt in my opinion. Granted, I didn't watch until the end, so maybe it got worse, but from the minimal screen time, she was fine. I don't really have much to comment on. Consider this character lucky for only jumping into the film a short time before I stopped watching.

I pretty much stopped at the part where Bill Murray's character - WHY, BILL MURRAY, WHY - an evil man, gets attacked by a ghost after Erin acts as an irrational woman, and they go to city hall because there's some ominous guy in the back. And the mayor is a man, with a woman by his side. But whatever, I can't say anything about the scene because I stopped watching. I just couldn't take it anymore. The film was less about bustin' ghosts than it was about stupid melodrama and little jokes. The title really should have been changed. I mean, in the original, every character was just pure and existed as they did and busted ghosts. You had Dr. Peter Venkman who was denying ghosts and trying to get the girl, but it was Bill Murray, so it was cool. And Dr. Raymond Stantz (Dan Aykroyd) and Dr. Egon Spengler (Harold Ramis) were cool, man. I liked their duo because they were not complete IDIOTS LIKE FREAKIN' ESTI DE HOLTZMANN... *breathes* And Winston Zeddmore (Ernie Hudson) was fine, man. JUST FINE. ... How did they screw this up so royally? By adding women and making this film an agenda. I watched this film, what, a week ago? And I still feel dirty from trying to watch it. I tried at it alone while trying to finish a birthday gift for someone, and I was so disappointed. This is entertainment? Maybe for a young kid, but I'd tell my kids to watch the original.

Guys, Ghostbusters is shit. The reason it can't be okay is because it holds the title of a classic, a film which actually had humour for all ages. I refuse to take it as, "Well, it was doing its own thing c:" A remake can be different, but this is literally just pure Hollywood regurgitated shit that marketing has tried to give to you as a three-star-Michelin meal. I tried my best not to compare it to the original, but I couldn't. When I remember all the humour I got out of the original, all the cheesy special effects, I can't help but feel so, so disappointed. I hate this feminist angle everything has to take. I hate that they're shitting on themselves and calling it funny. We can't support this shit anymore and call it "empowering". Just because a woman is a protagonist does not mean it has to be about this woman defeating a male society. Why can't we have it as coinciding, living as one?

Eff 2016 Ghostbusters. You will perish in flames!

Review XX - Ghostbusters

Review XX
Ghostbusters (1984)

I've been watching quite a few movies, but I've fallen behind on reviewing them. Anyway, I remember loving Ivan Reitman's Ghostbusters as a kid. I hadn't watched it in a few years, but I watched it last week for the fourth or fifth time.

Dr. Peter Venkman (Bill Murray), Dr. Raymond Stantz (Dan Aykroyd), and Dr. Egon Spengler (Harold Ramis) are kicked out of university because of their lack of proper and fruitful research. They start a business of catching paranormal entities, only to find out that something bigger is brewing in New York City, and Venkman will stop at nothing to make sure Dana Barrett (Sigourney Weaver) notices him.

It's a cheesy film, and it's a typical eighties' film, but it's cute and enjoyable. Now that I watched it again, I caught on to some of the innuendos in the film (gate keeper, key master), which made me laugh. Really, there's not much to say because it's a childhood film. Even if it was bad, it's hard for me to focus on that because it's a nostalgic film for me. I mean, really, it's a simple film, and I find the characters aren't necessarily given a lot of back story. I find Winston Zeddmore (Ernie Hudson) is just there, but we still barely see him. I know the point of the film is the ghosts, but all I get is a little bit of information on the characters. Still, as I said, it's not something I really care about that much because it's only made to entertain, and because it has a nostalgic value to it, and it has aged well, it's hard for me to really complain about anything because nothing bothers me about it that much. There are problems, but with a film like this, there's nothing that actually bothered me about it.

I'd give the film a seven point seven on ten. It's entertaining, funny, but nothing extraordinary. If you also like Rick Moranis, he's in it, which is cool! If you've never watched the film, go watch it. I mean really, who doesn't know the line, "Who ya gonna call"?

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Review XII - Moonrise Kingdom

Review XII
Moonrise Kingdom (2012)

A few years ago, I remember visiting the movie theatres nearly every month. Now, it seems to be a very rare occurence. I understand why - college makes for my free time being taken up by studying and sleeping. I was very disappointed when I realised I hadn't watched any films that had made it for Best Picture for the Academy Awards. I had really wanted to see The Artist, but on the rare time I went to the theatres, I would always skip out on watching it. I ended up watching it after it won for Best Picture (it was amazing), but it made me make a bit of a personal goal that I would watch the films that were highly recommended whenever I could in hopes that I wouldn't be completely clueless when it came to the Academy Awards. So I checked out Wes Anderson's Moonrise Kingdom on a Cheapy Tuesday starring Jared Gilman, Kara Hayward, Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Bill Murray, and Frances McDormand.

The story tells about the love between Sam (Jared Gilman) and Suzy (Kara Hayward), two distraught children who seem to only find solace in each other. One day Sam runs away from his scout camp and leader, Scout Master Ward (Edward Norton), and Captain Sharp (Bruce Willis) is asked to find the missing children by Scout Master Ward and Suzy's parents, Walt (Bill Murray) and Laura Bishop (Frances McDormand). What starts out as an innocent chase turns into something bigger when the narrator (Bob Balaban) warns of a big storm coming, and Scout Master Ward and Captain Sharp find out Sam's an orphan.

The film definitely has funny parts in it, as well as deepily emotional scenes. The acting was top-notch, and the cinematography was stunning. You'd think I would have loved it, but I left the film feeling empty. The film was a bit fantastical, and that bugged me. You know how Scott Pilgrim vs. The World went from drama to fantastical in one scene? I loved it in Scott Pilgrim, but in Moonrise Kingdom, it bugged me. It wasn't a consistent fantastical element to the film - it just came out sometimes. It felt like it was trying to do something, but it came out short. For example, in one scene, and this is a spoiler as to one scene in the film, Sam is struck by lightning. It was fake, and it really bugged me. Then, later on, when Suzy and Sam kiss, You see some electrical currents pass between the two, and Sam says, "There must be some lightning still in me," or something of the sort. Both parts annoyed me because it was fake. Had the whole film had a fake twist to it, I would have been fine with that, but it didn't. It came out of nowhere, and people laughed. I couldn't laugh because it just felt so sudden, and I felt bertrayed. I understand it's supposed to represent a childlike view of the world, but it doesn't change the fact that it came out of nowhere practically. Either it should have introduced it early on in the film, or taken out it.

I also found the adult attitude to love from Sam and Suzy a bit too unbelievable as well. They are only twelve after all. Maybe I'm naive, but when I was twelve, while I was starting to take an interest in the opposite sex, I definitely didn't have marriage and life-long love on my mind. I was too busy enjoying myself in the last years of innocence. This is completely personal so I wouldn't judge the film solely based on my own experiences, but it still bothered me a bit. Again, maybe I was an immature twelve year old (or just an immature eighteen year old when it comes to young love), and I have yet to read someone's review who has a similar view, but it still bugged me.

Even though I'm criticising the film a lot, I'll reinstate the great acting and great cinematography the film had. This was Jared Gilman and Kara Hayward's first real acting experience, and frankly, they acted better than most adults in films nowadays. Edward Norton, Bruce Willis, Frances McDormand, and Bill Murray all took their roles and seemed to do well in it. I felt for each character, even if the story focused on Sam and Suzy. The places the film was, well, filmed, were amazing, and the way the whole thing was filmed was well done. Not to mention that some parts were quite funny, and actually got you laughing out loud. It's hard to get a whole theatre of people laughing, and this film managed to do it several times.

Overall, I'd give the film a seven point three on ten. The film bugged me, and I can't forgive it for that, but it did have some pretty great elements to it. It just left me disappointed because it failed to make itself really good because of a few things when I think it could have done a lot better. Films like that, I would say, are the most disappointing.