Review LVII - Efter brylluppet

Review LVII
Efter brylluppet (2006)

I find it hilarious that as soon as I hit my March break - after an endless amount of midterm examinations - I get sick. This happens nearly every year, so I'm not sure why I'm surprised. Regardless of my flu, I knew I was going to catch up on watching some films since I haven't watched any since my last review. For this reason, I decided to ease my way in with Susanne Bier's Efter bryllupet, or After the Wedding, as it is known in English.

The film opens up in India where we meet Jacob Peterson (Mads Mikkelsen), a Danish man who has dedicated his life to managing an orphanage. He loves working with the children, including Pramod, a young boy who Jacob is very attached to, and for this reason, he's extremely hesitant to meet the CEO, Jørgen Lennart Hannson (Rolf Lassgård), of a company in Denmark who wishes to donate a large amount of money to the orphanage. Jacob, eventually accepting as the orphanage faces bankruptcy, promises Pramod that he will be back in time for his eighth birthday. However, when Jacob is invited to Jørgen's daughter's wedding, he discovers that he's more connected to this man than he thought.

First off, I enjoyed the way the movie was filmed. Again, which seems to be typical of Anders Thomas Jensen films (he wrote the screenplay), there was quite a bit of symbolism, and the film aimed to capture this. There were a lot of close-ups of eyes, of mounted animal heads, and of different scenes, and this gives the film a certain essence. I thought it was interestingly captured as a result.

I thought the plot was interesting. It really got you emotionally invested in the characters, and the film has many different layers to it. At first, when you realise the first secret of the family (trying not to spoil anything!), you debate how it will go from there. The film, however, didn't follow a typical plot exposition (at least I found), and I applaud it for that. Nonetheless, I thought the reasoning behind Jørgen's obsession with Jacob was a bit... off. Alright, I'm going to spoil it because it's hard to explain what I mean with no context. Skip the remainder of this paragraph if you don't wish to see spoilers. We find out that Jørgen is dying (never explains what) and he feels compelled to make Jacob the one who will take his place given the fact that he is Anna's (Stine Fischer Christensen) real father. I mean, yes, Helene (Sidse Babett Knudsen), his wife, did have a child with this man, but that doesn't mean he has to remain the father... Had the plot revolved around the fact that Jørgen wanted to see if his wife would be happier off with Jacob, then I could see why he would push to have Jacob be part of his daughter's and his wife's lives. The fact that it's because he's terminally ill seemed odd to me. He doesn't seem convinced Helene will even live with Jacob after he dies as he asks her if she will. I don't even find it's necessarily completely implied at the end that Jacob stays with Helene. I mean, they hold hands, but Helene explains to Anna at one point that they were unhappy together. When they talk throughout the film, I got the idea that they were friends rather than lovers, and while maybe this is good enough for Jørgen, again, I'm assuming his intention was to make them fall in love again, or something of the sort. Either way, the way he goes about it seems odd to me. Not completely unbelievable, but odd. I also disliked the end since we learn Jørgen is dying, and then it seems like he dies ten minutes later. We get a whole scene of him crying out that he doesn't want to die, and then boom, he's gone. I thought it would have been better to see him actually go through the process of being sick and show how Jacob becomes part of the family. Instead, it's all assumed. I thought this was weak, and considering we spent all this time getting to know the characters, it seemed like a waste. It was still interesting overall, but I think the way it went about things wasn't very in depth when it should have been.

I'd give the film a seven point three on ten. I enjoyed it, but the plot really did suffer at the end. Still, it's worth a watch as it is beautifully captured, and, well, it has Mads Mikkelsen.

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Review XXVIII - Metalocalypse

Review XXVIII
Metalocalypse (2006-present)

It was back in grade six when I heard my first metal song - apart from the so called "metal" I've heard on the radio. It was Dream Theater's Learning to Live, and yeah, it is a pretty tame song by metal standards, but it opened up a new genre of music I had never heard before. I listened to Dream Theater, Death, Necrophagist, Dragonforce, Children of Bodom, Sonata Arctica - anything really - except for nu metal, which I continue to look down upon (it's just a grudge now). My friend helped expose me to the more extreme bands I really enjoy now because her older brother listened to metal as well. I remember him showing us a adult cartoon show called Metalocalypse at the time, but, being a young kid paired with the violent nature of the show, made me never look into it. I've gone through different phases of music since then - electronica and classical especially - and while I listened to Austrian Death Machine every so often, I felt I had left my metal roots behind. I met someone recently who listens to Sonata Arctica, and it made me take out the mp3 CD I have of their songs. Needless to say, it brought back my metal craving. It also reminded me of that show I had heard of all those years ago - Brendon Small and Tommy Blacha's metal epic. I realise this is a show, not a movie, but I originally made this blog thinking I'd only review movies because I had another place where I wrote about shows I watched. It has since been deleted, so I present you this brutal classic today! [/end of anecdote]

John Lennon claimed the Beatles were bigger than Jesus - but Dethklok is bigger than them both. Fans would gladly throw themselves into the pits of Hell to get a chance to go to a concert (and they do, quite literally, sometimes), millions upon millions of people wait for every upcoming album, and it is quite possible that, if the death metal band commanded for mass suicide, it would happen. In fact, Dethklok is so popular that it has the seventh biggest economy on the planet. You would think this band would thus consist of a group of hard-working, competent, intelligent, and kind individuals. Well, you thought wrong.

Frontman Nathan Explosion (voiced by Brendon Small) is the vocalist and lyricist of the band - who growls regardless if he's singing or not. He originally grew up in Florida, USA and never got his high school diploma. Nonetheless, he doesn't always appear as intellectually inept as the rest of the band, but most of the time he's displaying some sense of stupidity and obvious insensitivity. It only goes downhill from here, folks!

Skwisgaar Skwigelf (also voiced by Brendon Small) is the lead guitarist of the group who originally comes from Sweden. While he looks typically Swedish - tall, blond, blue-eyed - he possesses the gift of God when he plays guitar. He is often considered the fastest and best guitarist in the world, and he always seems to have a guitar on him. He's also the best womanizer, I would say, in the world. When the band toured in Finland one year, Skwisgaar approximates he banged 500 women. What a feat for one man... Or should I say god?

On rhythm guitar, we have Toki Wartooth (voiced by Tommy Blacha). While he is not acknowledged by the band to be a very good member in contributing to the band's overall wealth and music, he's definitely the sweetest, most innocent, and most childish out of the group. He hails from Norway where he was abused as a child. In consequence to this abuse, he is extremely well built. While he is often jealous of Skwisgaar being in the limelight as lead guitarist, the two form a bond as they both possess "superior Scandanavian intellect". He was the only member to not have been part of the original line-up of Dethklok. Toki also adds "s" to the ends of a lot of words... Legitimately curious - is that a Norwegian thing?

Pickles (voiced by Brendon Small) the drummer comes from Wisconsin, USA, and, man, does he like to drink! ... As well as do recreational drugs en masse. Pickles definitely possesses great talent, having been in another successful band before Dethklok. Not to mention he's always inebriated and intoxicated and yet still manages to put on a killer show for the band. However, his family still looks down on him and instead focuses their attention on his sly brother. Let's all give Pickles some love, shall we?

Finally, we have the useless bassist, William Murderface (voiced by Tommy Blacha). My god, this character gets on my nerves. He's ignorant, evil, just an overall bad person, and always seems to be complaining about something - especially how he's under-rated in the band. It's not like he doesn't deserve it - he barely contributes to the band. He witnessed the murder-suicide of his parents as a baby, but claims it has not scarred him. He speaks with a prominent lisp and is the worst looking member of the band of which he is continuously reminded by the public and the members of Dethklok. Nonetheless, he wishes for some love. At least he has Toki to share his under-achievements!

Charles Foster Offdensen (voiced by Brendon Small) is the manager of the band Dethklok - though he is much more. He's also their legal counsel and chief financial advisor, as well as one of the only people who can stand being around them for more than five minutes to discuss legal matters. He's dedicated his life to protecting the band and does all he can for them. He's extremely talented - being an incredible fencer - and acts as a father figure for the band on occasion. How does he do it?

There are many other re-occuring characters, such as Dick Knubbler, Dr. Rockzo (who is just as annoying as Murderface - and he does cocaine), for example, but there is one group I should talk about - the Tribunal. They are a secret organisation - an Illuminati, if you will - who is constantly monitoring Dethklok. They are always discussing the dangers that can come from Dethklok's actions and become more important as the series goes on. They can be considered one of the leading antagonists to the band. They consist of Senator Stampingston (voiced by Mark Hamill (STAR WARS!!!)), General Crozier (voiced by Victor Brandt), Cardinal Ravenwood (also voiced by Victor Brandt), who dies early on, Vater Orlaag (voiced by Malcolm McDowell (A Clockwork Orange!)), and, most mysteriously of all, Mr. Salacia (voiced by Mark Hamill). I suggest not looking up the characters on Wikipedia - some things can be ruined!

The animation is not the best, but it did get better, thank goodness. You can definitely see a difference in animation quality from season one and two to season three and four. It's not an artistic masterpiece, but seriously, I don't think I've ever seen an adult cartoon that did have realistic portrayals of people and really good animation. Most of the time it's cardboard cutouts, but anyway, if you watched the show, it wouldn't be for the animation. It would be for the content. And man, is the content vulgar. While some swears are beeped out with pitch harmonics (I wish that happened in real life!), you know exactly what they're saying. The situations that arise too, including, but not limited to, pedophilia, alcoholism, drug abuse, sex, and just plain gorey predicaments, make it a pretty crazy show. I'm not usually a fan of this shows - they're usually dumb and the only humour available is fart-joke humour really. In fact, this is the only adult cartoon I've ever watched in full, besides early Simpsons work. I find Robot Chicken, Family Guy, and all that really too dumb for me. This one still has that, but because it has some intelligent moments, likeable characters (do not look up Toki and Skwisgaar on google with the safety off), and really awesome and original music, I quickly became addicted. If you also like metal, you can appreciate the show as well. It's a culture thing, and even though I'm not a full-on metalhead, I can still sit back and see the culture flowing from it and see myself in there. It's hilarious and well-done, and I totally dig it... six... feet under. That's brutal.

I'd give the show seven point eight stars on ten. Thank god the animation gets better, but it's not as good as it could be. It also has a lot of bad humour and it's, well, an adult swim show. But it has something particular about it, and I'm glad it's lasted this long. In fact, a fifth season is in the works. Besides season three, the episodes are only eleven or so minutes long, which is also a reasonable length, especially for me when I wanted to watch an episode (or three) before going to bed. I highly recommend the show if you like metal - most particularly if you like death or anything more "dark" than power metal - but if you don't really and like rock, give it a try. It's c-c-c-c-awesome!

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Review XXV - Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead

Review XXV
Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)

I'd like to just give a little warning before I start this review. This film is, well, gory, but most of all, contains pretty explicitively provocative scenes. Watch it at your own risk!

Two years ago, for whatever reason, I was inspired to watch some real obscure, weird films with a friend. We got started on the list, but after watching Une vraie jeune fille, we abandoned the project. There were a couple of films I had downloaded to watch, and one of them was the musical, comedy, horror, just plain strange Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead, directed by Lloyd Kaufman. Since it's almost Halloween, I figured it was time to watch this so I could have at least one review on here that was horror-related. The film was produced and distributed by an independent film company, Troma Entertainment, and apparently, Poultrygeist was their highest critical acclaim. Let me just say that I'm wondering just how weird and bad the films they've released are. The film stars Jason Yachanin, Kate Graham, Joshua Olatunde, Rose Ghavami, Allyson Sereboff, Caleb Emerson, and Robin L. Watkins. If you actually know any of these actors, I'm proud of you! ... Or maybe just horrified.

The film opens up to Arbie (Jason Yachanin) and his girlfriend, Wendy (Kate Graham), about to have sex for the first time in a Native American burial ground as they are just about to graduate from high school and since Wendy is about to leave for college, why not? As they have sex, a zombie reaches through the ground and is about to prey on them before a man interrupts the couple. Arbie and Wendy run off, and the man is completely ripped apart by the zombie. Cue title card! A semester later, Arbie finds his girlfriend has abandoned him for another girl, Micki (Allyson Sereboff), and the two are part of a group condemning the establishment of a new fast food restaurant, American Chicken Bunker, on the Native American burial ground. In order to get back at Wendy (and to win her over somehow), Arbie applies to work at A.C.B. However, weirdness insues when the chicken product seems to be possessed by the spirits of the burial ground and everyone becomes a chicken zombie. You can't get better writing than this!

I'm pretty sure I found this movie while looking up something on Ron Jeremy (no link for your own good). He makes an appearance in the film right at the beginning, and I think that can sum up the film as a whole - Ron Jeremy makes a cameo. Do I even need to continue? ... Yes? Fine. If the film was just about chicken zombies, I think I would have enjoyed it more. Instead, we get a mash of really sexual innuendos all the time, as well as just sex scenes, minus the unsimulated bit. Not to mention the rest of the humour is really crass. Now, I don't frown upon crass humour, but in this film, it's not even done well. Sometimes I'd laugh, but there were so many parts where I'd just groan out loud because the joke was bad. I'll give you an example, just for the heck of it. Humus (Rose Ghavami), who is a Muslim woman who wears a red burqa, witnesses the murder of the gay Mexican worker, Jose Paco Bell (Khalid Rivera), by a piece of chicken who turns on a chicken shredder machine and pushes Paco in. Obviously blood is sprayed everywhere, and the owner of the franchise, General Lee Roy (Robin Watkins), tells Humus and the manager, Denny (Joshua Olatunder), (in case you didn't notice it already, the names of all the main characters are a reference to fast food restaurants) to keep their mouths shut about the incident. Denny and General Lee Roy leave, and Humus says, after looking at the blood sprayed everything, "That reminds me - I need a tampon." Now, I've watched bad movies with bad lines, but lines like these are hard to come by - fortunately. I don't know why I'm even complaining - the movie is called Poultrygeist. I guess maybe I just hoped that there would be more decent writing in the film. Like I said, there are some good lines in the film (mostly the racist remarks, to be honest), but most of the time they're ruined by an obvious line followed from another character. I know it's a mock film on horror films, but some things are forgivable, and others are sins. The writing in this film is a sin and it doesn't deserve any chance to make amends.

However, even though the writing is horrible, the characters are mostly just airheads, and the film is walking on thin ice in relation to those sex scenes, there is one thing that the film has that I totally loved - the gore effects. I've watched low budget films, and most of the time, the gore effects were really lame. However, this film does really well in this department. The pulsating eggs were awesome when they exploded with green slime, and the chicken zombies and bloody explosions were pretty cool. I'm going to ruin a scene again, sorry, but it totally deserves recognition. A notable fat man, Jared, goes to the restaurant and orders a "low-fat" meal. He takes a bite out of a zombie chicken egg and proceeds to have, best way to describe it, the shits. That whole scene is gross as, well, poop, but it's well done. When the man inside Jared (don't ask because the film doesn't even know) breaks free, I thought that was really well done - especially considering it was a low budget film.

I'd give the film three point five stars on ten. The writing was terrible, and the plot was just really gross most of the time. It didn't rely on anything but petty humour and sex, and the only part of the film that gives it that three point five is the well done gore. Still, it's hard to sit through an hour and a half of bad plot when there isn't the one thing that makes it good: constant explosions of goo. Don't even bother looking this one up - it's really not worth your time - unless you happen to like racist-fart-joke-sex-filled-chicken-zombie-infested films.

Review XXIV - Children of Men

Review XXIV
Children of Men (2006)

I read P.D. James' novel The Children of Men six years ago, and I hardly recall anything about it. However, the idea of mass human infertility driving the species to extinction always fascinated me. Although there is some speculation on whether men's sperm counts are actually going down, I have read a book and several articles on the prediction that the y chromosome is being driven into the ground, and it is only a matter of time before everyone will have to rely on in vitro fertilisation in order to have children. Okay, perhaps that is a bit exaggerated, but The Children of Men brought this idea to an extreme and it was highly praised. Obviously a movie was made, and ever since I read the book, I always wanted to watch the film adaptation directed by Alfonso Cuarón and starring Clive Owen, Clare-Hope Ashitey, Michael Caine, Julianne Moore, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and Pam Ferris. Years went by (seriously, six years?), and recently I was talking to a friend from school when he told me he had downloaded Children of Men. I told him I'd been meaning to watch it for ages, so finally today he brought his laptop to school and we watched it in the library. Anyway, enough with the anecdotes - on to the review!

The movie opens up to the death of the youngest person - an eighteen year old male - on Earth being killed by a bullet wound as a result of refusing to sign an autograph. People stand around a coffee shop in Britain, horrified at the news, as Theo Faron (Clive Owens) orders a black coffee, listening to the news as well. It has been eighteen years since the last child was born as women have all become infertile. The masses have gone crazy, and immigrants have flooded into Britain, which has become a military state. Theo, a former activist, visits his drug dealer and good friend, Jasper (Michael Cain) and works at a desk job where the manager doesn't care too much about lates and absences from its employees. He is kidnapped and is re-united with his immigrant-rights activist ex-wife and asks him to get transit papers for a young black woman, Kee (Clare-Hope Ashitey). He is thrown into the middle of the battle when he discovers Kee is pregnant and takes the responsibility of delivering her to the Human Project, an organisation aiming to cure infertility.

I thought it was interesting that they changed the infertility from men to women, and I know they changed a few other elements of the original novel, but as I mentioned, I barely remember the novel, so I won't be able to compare. I thought the film was really well done, and I was surprised it was only about a ninety minute film. It managed to pack in a lot and do it very well. It wasn't a rushed plot, and it wasn't like it delved right into the pregnancy - that came reasonably later.

The acting was also superb. It's strange to imagine how people would behave knowing their species is going extinct, but I thought the portrayals were wonderful. Clive Owen and Clare-Hope Ashitey did a great job as Theo and Kee, respectively. Okay, I did think it was a little strange that Kee was up for absolutely any idea thrown at her, but at the same time, if you believed your only hope was kilometers (yes, kilometers) and kilometers away, and you might be the last hope for humanity, I guess maybe you'd do anything to get to where you needed to go. It was strange seeing Michael Caine as a hippie, but he did a wonderful job. As well as Chiwetel Ejiofor as the rebellious leader and Pam Ferris as the religious midwife. No actor or actress made me groan because their delivery was less than decent - it was all well portrayed.

The scenery was well established, and it reminded me of third world countries at war... Yeah, what a romantic way to explain it. Seriously, though, it was grim the whole way through, and it was just interesting to see England as such a war zone.

Now, the part I will compliment the most, excluding the plot idea, will be the cinematography, if that's what it would be under. The way the scenes were shot was amazing, and I can name two major scenes that were done in one take. I'm not sure you realise how rare that is - especially in a huge gun fight. Most of them show one person shooting, screaming, and then another shot of the other, and another shot... Cut cut cut. In this film, as I said, I can name two scenes where one take was used, and they were very intense and long scenes. I thought this was amazing, and it made me compliment the actors and the grips and whoever else was involved in filming that single take.

I've just been praising this film like mad, haven't I? I'll just give my rating then - eight point five stars on ten. It was entertaining, had good portrayal, was interesting, and possessed a thought-provoking plot. I thought maybe it would have been better to go into the history of the infertility a bit more and explain the Human Project a bit more. Still, it's possible I missed that because I was in the library and everyone was talking around, so I won't really nitpick about that. I thought it was grand, and I recommend it. It's a depressing film, though, so don't expect to come out of it happy. Still, I prefer a film that gets me thinking and saddens me than one that just skims the surface - real good thinking films are a dime a dozen.

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Review XIX - Clerks II

Review XIX
Clerks II (2006)

A long time ago (two months ago), I reviewed Clerks from Kevin Smith. After watching and reviewing the film, I really got into the mood of watching the sequel again. I couldn't find it anywhere (I had put it on a DVD) and couldn't be bothered to re-download it. There was a huge thunderstorm last night, and I lost my Internet connection for a little while. I decided to watch a movie instead of playing Minecraft. During my search, I found Gentlemen Broncos, but more important, Clerks II! Thus I sat down to watch the sequel for the second time.

Dante (Brian O'Halloran) heads out to open the Quick Stop only to find that the store is on fire. Randall (Jeff Anderson), it turns out, left the coffee pot on after closing up. The two end up getting employed at Mooby's, a fast food restaurant, only to be surrounded, once again, by some new, weird, and annoying customers. Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) are back, as well as some new friends including Dante's new fiancee, Emma (Jennifer Schwalbach Smith), Dante and Randall's boss, Becky (Rosario Dawson), and Elias (Trevor Fehrman), a very peculiar co-worker at Mooby's.

The first time I watched this film, I loved it. I loved it even more after watching it a second time because I got to re-hear jokes I found hilarious the first time, and appreciate them even more the second time. I also, cough, was also more informed about certain events that happen in the film since I last watched it, so it also added some more hilarity to the film. The acting is way better in this film than Clerks, and though the dialogue isn't necessarily as witty, it's still amazing, and I laughed a lot. I also liked the new characters that were added in, and I found I appreciated Jay and Silent Bob a lot more in this film. In Clerks, I found they were more of just a little side bit, but in this film, they were better incorporated with the main characters.

Overall I'd give the film an eight on ten, just as I did Clerks. I can't say which one I prefer because I felt both films were a bit different, but were both really good. While Clerks is more safe to watch around family and friends, I'm warning you that you should probably only watch this film with a close friend because it can be pretty graphic. Someone told me they watched it with their parents - by god, I feel for them.

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