Review CXLVI - Suicide Squad

Review 146
Suicide Squad (2016)

Sometimes I think I want to torture myself. Although in reality, I checked out David Ayer's Suicide Squad because I had discussed it with someone and I hated on it from the trailer alone. I really wasn't digging Jared Leto's portrayal of the Joker, but the guy I was talking with said he didn't think the way he approached the Joker was all that bad. I had briefly seen the trailer when it had come out if only because some friends were discussing it, but because it had been so long, perhaps my memory was playing tricks on me. So after listening him to talk about the movie, I decided I would check it out (in piracy), especially since critics had apparently buried it seven feet under causing utmost outrage for the fans when Ghostbusters wasn't slaughtered. *claps hands and rubs them together*

Honestly, I think I got, what, twenty, thirty minutes into the film and dropped it? So I guess this is less reviewing and more just hating, but that's okay. I figure as long as I'm up front, it's all good. From what I saw of Suicide Squad, it was a super stock film. That is, the movie recycled character introductions like we've seen time and time again, reminding me of Snatch. I also thought the whole introduction was shit in how it was executed. Check it out - we begin with I think it was the Animals' rendition of House of the Rising Sun. It seemed so misplaced. We got it as we rush across the water and enter the prison to see Deadbolt (Will Smith) talking shit about his food to the guard. The guard, being the dick every guard is in every Hollywood film, beats the shit out of him. Then it cuts to some song I didn't recognise for our introduction of Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie) strapped to the ceiling of her cell. Now, what? How does she have straps in there? This is a maximum security prison - I don't think you're even allowed shoelaces, especially since this woman is psychotic and maybe will attempt suicide. It was just stupid.

Already I'm raging, but it gets worse. We then get Amanda Waller (Viola Davis) explaining each of the characters. First we start with Deadbolt, also known as Floyd Lawton, who is a mercenary. But he's also the father of a young girl. He is forbidden to see her because he is an ASSASSIN, but they meet in secret. Batman (Ben Affleck) catches the two and, though Deadbolt attempts to shoot Batman, his daughter stops him in the pursuit, telling him to give up. He does, and is captured. Honestly, what a shit backstory. I think it would have made more of a heartfelt story if he would have shot his daughter, and was now living with the consequences. I was waiting for him to shoot her, but instead we get some shitty acting from this daughter and Will Smith looking like this guy who became an assassin for only monetary reasons. I don't even know how his daughter is fine with him being a mercenary. I mean, maybe she isn't since she tells him to give himself up, but she isn't pissed in the least. It's just shit, honestly. It is super sloppy writing with no character development. Deadbolt is the bad guy who is really good. That's all we get from him - and I doubt it changes by the end of the film.

Then we talk about Harley Quinn. I'm just rolling my eyes at this character. She literally exists for sex appeal, and that's it. She also has a shitty story. She was a psychiatrist who was treating the Joker, and she eventually fell in love with him. And let me tell you, the acting when she is Harleen Quinzel is ATROCIOUS. It was on the level of Watchmen. So much so that I almost had a fear the acting would continue down that route. However, once Margot Robbie has to act a super obvious characteristic, she's fine. Anything subtle, anything that requires talent, not so much. So as Harley Quinn, she's fine, but it's so bullshit. So yeah, Harleen Quinzel (Jesus, that name needs to stop) falls in love with the Joker, who asks for a chainsaw. She promptly gives it to him and he busts out of jail, not before "hurting her real bad" with who knows how many volts to the brain, with Harleen Quinzel beckoning him. It was the stupidest shit I had ever seen. We get a shot of the two of them together with Harley Quinn as a stripper/go-go dancer or something. The Joker looks- actually, wait, I'll get to him. Anyway, so they're a duo, with Amanda Waller telling us she is even crazier than the Joker himself. Then Batman attempting to make out with her... "Hey, guys, Harley Quinn is the way we're getting our young male viewers in! Let's get her as nude as possible, and horny, and sexy as possible!" Christ... Just shit all over.

There were other introductions, but honestly, I don't even remember them because, by now, I was out. I know one of them gave themselves up, but that's it. So all I have is the Joker, who we saw multiple times. You know how I said I had hated him in the trailer? Yeah, I hated him more. His metallic teeth reminded me of a gangster with gold inserts, and his appearance in the club with Harley Quinn just destroyed me. He's a hardcore gangster in Suicide Squad, which I really, really did not like. The Joker is a jokester, a prankster. I hate this level of seriousness he ran - it makes no sense. I'm not gonna compare to the one in The Dark Knight because frankly, I can't remember the portrayal there all that well, but I recall him having super dark "humour". The portrayal in Batman was also fine. Here, the Joker is just crazy and freakin' idiotic. Granted, I saw him for two seconds, so I can't really make an accurate description on him, so maybe the jokes come later. However, what I saw was enough to make me really hate him. Honestly, that gangster portrayal crap is just so shit. SO SHIT.

Really, I just hate this overall introduction to the characters and insert to the main plot. I'd rather it be like Snatch where we learn about the characters through a particular scene, not by having another protagonist explain each of them. It makes everything seem rushed and the easiest way to give us a backstory. And it continues with Amanda Waller explaining why these guys are needed, instead of showing us the imminent threat. Why couldn't Suicide Squad start with that threat instead of the pointless sympathy call with Deadbolt, and showing us Harley Quinn? That's the point of using a visual medium to tell a story - so you can show us the scene, not tell us about it. Just shitty writing, honestly.

Finally, the use of old music in these films to get people swinging in the theatre is also driving me up the wall. Yeah, I know they have a separate soundtrack, but Watchmen did this by having old, classic rock songs to get you in or something, and it just keeps happening. Stop. I really can't get no satisfaction with these songs.

I wrote all that from thirty minutes - I could only imagine the whole film. Suicide Squad is so stock and unoriginal with really bad writing. It isn't worth my time, and it certainly shouldn't be worth yours. The only reason you'd see Suicide Squad is because the marketing was massive for this pile of junk, and you think it must be good since you saw five different trailers online. Just... whatever.

Review LXVIII - Chasing Amy

Review LXVIII
Chasing Amy (1997)

While discussing the films Clerks II (which I totally reviewed already) and Dogma with my boyfriend, he asked me if I had ever seen Chasing Amy from the same director, Kevin Smith. I had not, so I quickly got to seeing that one given that he enjoyed refusing to tell me the explicit sexual dialogue in the film. Curiousity persists, my friends!

The film opens with Banky Edwards (Jason Lee) raging at a man at a comic convention who has declaired him a measly "tracer", instead of the inker/embellisher he is for the comic "Bluntman and Chronic". We then meet Holden McNeil (Ben Affleck, the artist of the comic, who is more relaxed and easy-going than his best friend and partner. While talking to fellow comic book artist, Hooper X (Dwight Ewell), Holden and Banky meet the lovely Alyssa (Joey Lauren Adams), who is also a comic book artist (getting redundant, isn't it?). Holden quickly falls for her and believes she is as well until he discovers she is a lesbian.

The sexual dialogue in this one is frequent, but man, it is completely accurate. I have argued the "do lesbians actually have sex?" argument with people before. I've also discussed other sexual topics brought up in the film. For that reason alone, I was able to relate. But that is something Kevin Smith really seems to hit on the head - his dialogue usually flows in a direction that either you have experienced or in a way that seems very real. Chasing Amy is no exception. I swear, if you're, minimum, in your teens, I'm sure you'll relate to the dialogue, even if you believe in sexual abstinence.

While the film has impeccable dialogue, the characters are not necessarily the most memorable. Jason Lee is pretty snazzy with that beard so I find it hard to forget him, but his character is not super developed. He's involved in interesting dialogue, but I didn't find him that present in the film. He's established as part of the duo, but when the whole mess with Alyssa comes up, he comes in maybe twice. The viewer is left to imagine that he is upset during the whole ordeal instead of actually being shown it. Not to mention that when we do see him, he doesn't seem that angry with everything. Holden was a "meh" character, in my opinion. He was a typical middle-middle guy who gets the girls. Otherwise, I can't really say much about him. Hooper X suffers the same thing as Banky. He's there, but not super there. I find he was more present than Banky and more developed, but he was still under-developed. Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob make an appearance, as usual, but you know how they always are. Alyssa is developed. I liked her character a lot. She's headstrong and interesting, instead of being vapid like so many female characters can be in movies. Yay for one developed character! Nonetheless, I was not disappointed with the film. Kevin Smith has always been about his dialogues. If he nails the dialogue, you'll enjoy yourself, even if the characters talking don't feel developed. In this case, he got the dialogue down, in my opinion. As a result, I really enjoyed myself.

I'd give the film seven point nine stars on ten. I really enjoyed it - especially the ending - but the lack of development in most of the characters was a bit bothersome. Definitely worth watching, though, if you like Kevin Smith's films. And if you don't, well, I'd still say go for it because how can you deny yourself dialogue like this?

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Review XLIV - Argo

Review XLIV
Argo (2012)

I remember when I saw the trailer for Ben Affleck's Argo, I didn't seem too impressed. I couldn't remember exactly what the film was about, minus that the main character, played by Ben Affleck, was making a fake movie for some reason. When I saw that it had been pretty widely acclaimed (and this was only recently) and was based on a true event (which I saw in the trailer, but I always take these claims with a grain of salt), I decided I should give it a shot (uhh... no pun intended). I was probably being hasty on my judgement because I didn't want to end up seeing a bad movie. Anyway, let's review this baby!

Though it seems almost too comical to be true, this film is based on true accounts. The film begins with militants and civilians storming into the American embassy in Iran's capital, Tehran on November 4th, 1979, in support of the Iranian revolution (it's explained in the film so I won't go in depth). Six, out of the fifty-eight Americans that were there, manage to escape and are taken into the home of the Canadian ambassador, Ken Taylor (played by Victor Garber). The six Americans are Tate Donovan), Lee Schatz (Rory Cochrane), Mark Lijek (Christopher Denham), Cora Lijek (Clea DuVall), Joe Stafford (Scoot McNairy), and Kathy Stafford (Kerry Bishé) However, the American government realises that it won't be long before the Iranians find out six have escaped, so they need a plan to get them out. Enter Tony Mendez (Ben Affleck), a CIA specialist, who disagrees with all the ideas of having them pose as teachers in Iran. He comes up with an idea when he puts Battle for the Planet of the Apes on to watch it with his son. The idea? To pretend to make a film that is being filmed in Iran and have the six escapees as the crew. With the help of his supervisor, Jack O'Donnell (Bryan Cranston), a Hollywood make-up artist who has done previous work with the CIA, John Chambers (John Goodman), and the great film producer, Lester Siegel (Alan Arkin), they may just be able to pull off the greatest fake film of all time - Argo.

First of all, I really like the cover for the film. I find it very expressive and the contrasting blue and red colour make it an interesting view. It's not really necessary for the critique of the film, but I just thought I'd mention it. Ahhh, Ben Affleck, haha.

Anyway, the film is definitely interesting. You get the perspective of the six Americans held captive in Iran and how stressed they are, and then we get the perspective of the CIA trying their best to come up with a good idea. When the film idea is pitched, it is initially put down, but in the end, seems to be their best bet to get their fellow people out. While this is obviously simply based on true events and thus some aspects are dramatised, this was not - they actually pretended to make a fake movie to get these people out. These real life events just seem like a good plot to put on film, and with Ben Affleck's directing, it was really well done. It was suspenseful and really crazy at some points, but mostly, heartfelt. Tony Mendez went on a line with his life doing this, and so did Ken Taylor with actually accepting them in after they had been turned down by other embassies. Just a little tidbit, but apparently Lee Schatz actually stayed with the Swedish embassy for a week before joining the rest of the group. Ben Affleck went ahead and commented that this demonstrated real international relationships between nations, with risks of their lives and their stature, and I couldn't have said it better. The film captures this very well, as well as the suspenseful bits. Even though I knew what would happen, I was still yelling as I watched the film. It also had some funny aspects ("Argo fuck yourself!"), which made it even more appealing. I'd also like to say, as a side note, that, while it doesn't place Iran in the best of terms, it isn't fair to criticise it for doing so. The film is seen from the American perspective, and while Iranians did attack the U.S. embassy as a revolt for reasons that maybe you support, it can still be considered a good movie. It mostly focuses on how they got the Americans out, and, again, this is a film from the American side of things as it is based on an article written by an American. If you're going to simply boycott watching the film because it is biased, you're missing out.

The film's plot was really interesting, but I couldn't say the acting was really all that exceptional. It wasn't bad, not in the least, but it wasn't exceptional. I really enjoyed Alan Arkin's performance, but Ben Affleck's performance wasn't anything extraordinary. The six Americans also didn't have exceptional performances. Again, I have to reiterate that the performances were good, but they were not anything really remarkable, minus the great crabby portrayal of Lester Siegel from Alan Arkin. Still way better than I could have been, though!

The film was a really interesting piece of history, and I thought it was a really good film. The plot was great, and the acting was good, so I guess the film gets eight point five stars on ten. It's not my typical kind of film, but it was enjoyable nonetheless. Now I'd like to see the "real" Argo come out!

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