Review CXX - They Live

Review 120
They Live (1988)

I've been wanting to write a review for the month of November, but I haven't even watched any movies this whole month. I ended up going on an anime spree (and by spree, I mean I watched three shows, one of which had only seven minute episodes), but I didn't really have much to say. I can sum them all up in three words: Cowboy Bebop is pretty good, Tonari no Seki-kun is pretty cute, and N.H.K. ni Yōkoso! is shit (at first I thought it was great, but halfway in, the show died). So what was I going to do? Finals are coming up and I have to study! But I ended up going out for yoga with my friend Thursday evening, so I had completed all my homework the day before, plus I got home late and wasn't going to start on homework then. Enter movie time. The winner? John Carpenter's They Live starring Roddy Piper, Keith David, and Meg Foster. Awesome.

Nada (Piper) is a construction worker drifting through town, hoping to find work. He does, but in an "aliens-have-taken-over-and-are-keeping-us-in-the-dark" way. With the help of his friend Frank (David), and the mysterious woman Holly Thompson (Foster), Nada is ready to kick some alien butt.

They Live started off rather normally, but turned into a bad-ass John Carpenter after about twenty minutes. Seriously, the moment Nada gets the sunglasses, he starts killing and not giving a hoot. And I'm happy to say I finally know where that bubble gum line comes from now. It's pure, pure John Carpenter. If you like his weird, campy style, you'll love They Live. You will. I was actually expecting a more serious film given the subject matter. It's discussing the current state of affairs with a pretty good metaphor, I must say. I guess I was a little disappointed it wasn't as serious, but I always had a good time with this one. It brings up a true message, but it's still John Carpenter having fun. Thus, unlike the glasses, you can watch this film and not worry about coming down too hard. Great fun.

I... again have nothing else to say about this one. It's funny, it's serious, it's John Carpenter. Happy November, guys!

Review CXVII - Vampire's Kiss

Review 117
Vampire's Kiss (1988)

I've reviewed one Nicolas Cage movie before, but I decided to pick a good one. This time around, I was hanging out at a friend's, and he was feeling a Cage movie. Of course I got say over the movie to watch, so I chose Robert Bierman's Vampire's Kiss. You probably know it because of this face. Yeah, if a film is only known for a face, that's when you worry.

Peter Loew (Nicolas Cage), a literary agent, suffering from impeding insanity, lives a sleazy lifestyle after work consisting of clubs, drinking, and one night stands. However, when one of his one night stands (Jennifer Beals) turns out to be a vampire, Peter Loew's life takes a turn for the worst.

Before I sound like I defend this movie, let me say I'm not. The film is bad. It's confusing in its narrative, random, poorly written, stupid, lazy... I could go on, but you get the idea. The film is not worth watching. I mean, it's funny, but it's not that funny - it's just more boring and mediocre than anything else. Honestly, balls-to-the-wall honesty, I wouldn't recommend this film except for a select few scenes, my favourite being the entrance to the club nearing the end of Vampire's Kiss. But that's it. As far as Nicolas Cage movies go, there are worse and there are better and there are definitely funnier.

But. But, but, but. Well, it's not a "but", but I like the segue. See, although the film was bad, there was kind of an underlying theme that I can't say I disagreed with. Spoilers. All right, so what do we know about vampires, classic vampires? If you read Dracula, or even if you checked out a classic vampire film, you notice something that happens to the women after they get bitten by the men - they turn a little... sexual. They wear revealing dresses, they seduce men, they seduce many men. Basically, vampires can be taken as these degenerate beings that explore and exploit all types of sexual vices. Now, what kind of behaviour is Peter Loew engaging in? One night stands. Pretty degenerate, eh? What does he encounter with the first one night stand? A bat. A bat, as we know, is what a vampire transforms into. What happens with the second one night stand? She's an actual vampire. Well, shit. That was unexpected. And the first girl actually tries to get a relationship out of Peter, but Peter keeps ditching her for the vampire, casual sex. When he's the vampire, he becomes an asshole and completely beats on Juanita (Maria Conchita Alonso), his secretary. And of course she's the devote the Catholic who he wants to break down, and does eventually after raping her. Finally, in the end, we see that Nicolas Cage decides that to escape his fall, he would need to find actual love. Of course, he's too far gone, so it's too late for that, but still, it's something I can completely agree with. We think that a life of debauchery is typical of youth and necessary to live, but it could very well lead to your downfall. Take any celebrity who died of a drug overdose. Look at the people who sleep around and get a venereal disease because they aren't careful. I also think it's also interesting to note that Nicolas Cage ends up with a white woman at the end of the film... But for the sake of avoiding being called racist, I'll let you check out the film yourself if you're curious (it's still bad, so don't).

That's all I got for you in Vampire's Kiss. I'm also exhausted and have class tomorrow, so I had better go get some shuteye. I wouldn't recommend this film, but I would totally recommend the message... Assuming I got the proper message... Anyway, bye, folks!